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Meeting your girlfriend's father (or your boyfriend's mother) for the first time is one of the daunting initiations a young person faces. From the first introductions (a handshake? a hug? a kiss on the cheek?) to the awkward small talk around the dinner table to the questions that sometimes verge on interrogations, the entire scenario is fraught with peril. If it's not happening to you, however, it's also ready-made for hilarity and hijinks, as the creators of Meet the Parents somewhat understand.

We first meet Greg Focker (Ben Stiller) as he's practicing his marriage proposal speech on a patient he's treating. You see, Greg's a nurse and, after several blissful months of dating, he's ready to pop the question to his gorgeous and sweet girlfriend, Pam (Teri Polo). But just as he's about to get down on bended knee, Pam inadvertently informs him that it would be a serious faux pas if he didn't ask her father first. So it's off to meet the parents.

The first half-hour of the film is both funny and true. Greg's first introduction to his future father-in-law Jack (Robert De Niro) is seeing Pam and him engage in a foolish greeting ritual. The movie captures perfectly that moment when you realize that your significant other has a whole history of which you know precious little. How strange to watch her revert to a child-like role that you've never seen before, and then realize that that's a moment you can never share.

The movie also pinpoints the awkward silences as Greg tries to ingratiate himself to Pam's parents. Her mom Dina (in a great supporting performance from Blythe Danner) does her best to smooth the way, but Jack is more reticent. When Pam lets it slip that Greg hates cats (Jack's consuming passion), Greg tries to minimize the damage by swearing he loves cats, just not as much as dogs. Later, Greg enthusiastically gives Jack a house-warming gift but is perplexed when it's coolly received. And both sides' attempts at humor fall flat in the deepening silence.

The audience won't be quiet, though, as each of these situations provokes a knowing and hearty laughter. There's a wonderful scene when Pam encourages Greg to join Jack on a small errand. Neither man is particularly excited, but they play along. The ensuing car ride is a masterpiece of acting and comedy, as both Stiller and De Niro reflect the uncertain aspects of male bonding. When De Niro blurts out, "Are you a pothead, Focker?," Stiller's look of offense and alarm is authentic and genuinely funny. Later around the dinner table, Greg's attempts to fit in--making up experiences about cats, agreeing to say grace though he's not religious--had me almost falling in the aisle.

Unfortunately, that moment (about 40 minutes into the film) was about the last time I laughed. For the script by Jim Herzfeld and John Hamburg (each making their big-screen debut) decides that the inexhaustible mine of awkward interactions is not as rich as the excavation of humiliation. So De Niro, who shows himself to be a very gifted comedian with a great sense of timing, becomes a caricature, a retired CIA agent with an obsession for surveillance equipment and lie detectors. He becomes more and more antagonistic to Greg--giving him a lie detector test, openly mocking him in front of his family and neighbors, and warning him that he's out to get him.

It's not just the father that turns against Greg, though. The whole movie does. The litany of indignities it foists on Stiller's character is long and mean-spirited: he's forced to wear flowered bikini swimtrunks; marijuana paraphernalia is found in his jacket; he ends up with the wrong suitcase which, of course, contains sexually deviant devices; he accidentally lets out Jack's prized cat; he causes the septic tank to overflow; and he sets the backyard on fire.

I should've realized from Randy Newman's opening song, which includes the line "Show me a man who's gentle and kind, and I'll show you a loser," that the movie would have fun at our protagonist's expense. But it's so disappointing that, after a great first act, the movie switches course. Even worse is that it wastes a trio of fine performances. Stiller, who's unfortunately being typecast as the lovable, put-upon loser (There's Something About Mary, The Cable Guy, Flirting with Disaster) has this role down pat. But it's De Niro's great comedic turn and, more importantly, his chemistry with Stiller that make the funny scenes work. And Danner is great as the nice and perky mom. It's indicative that her character drops out of the movie after 40 minutes.

The other actors don't do a whole lot. Polo, who's better known for her work on television (Felicity, Northern Exposure), is adorable but otherwise doesn't distinguish herself. Owen Wilson (Shanghai Noon) and James Rebhorn (Talented Mr. Ripley) merely serve as foils for Greg's humiliation.

Director Jay Roach, best known for the Austin Powers movies, doesn't do much with what he's given and has to take at least some blame for the movie's right-turn into the abyss. I won't speak of the movie's final act, which is an unbelievable and awful attempt to put a happy ending on what has become a very depressing picture.

Meet the Parents has to at least be given some credit for reminding us of how fertile this rite of passage is. Now we just have to wait for someone to come along and fulfill its promise. 

J. Robert Parks 10/23/2000