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The Heartbreakers 
Directed by David Mirkin 
Starring Sigourney Weaver, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Ray Liotta, Gene Hackman 

The commercials for Say It Isn't So warn you that it's produced by the Farrelly brothers. That duo's There's Something About Mary inspired Hollywood's current obsession with comedies that try to balance sweet romance with sexually explicit and excessively gross physical humor. That's a tough tightrope to walk, however, and the failures (Road Trip, Me, Myself & Irene, Outside Providence) are often spectacular. 

But even given that track record, nothing could've prepared me for the disaster that is Say It Isn't So. This ludicrously awful film starring Heather Graham (Austin Powers 2) and Chris Klein (Election) is an abomination from start to finish. Jo and Gilly (Graham, and Klein, respectively) are two beautiful 20-somethings passing their lives in rural Indiana. After Jo cuts Gilly's ear off in a barbershop accident, the two fall passionately in love. Unfortunately, they soon find out that they're actually brother and sister. Distraught at having to end their love affair, Jo moves out to Oregon and is soon engaged to a wealthy businessman while Gilly is ostracized for his taboo-breaking behavior.

Of course, Gilly soon finds out that he isn't Jo's brother at all, so he heads out to Oregon in the hope of breaking up Jo's wedding and reaffirming their love. Hijinks ensue.

What sort of hijinks, you ask. How about Gilly hooking up with a jive-talking black man (Orlando Jones, from those funny 7-Up commercials) who doesn't have any legs? How about Jo's father swearing with a synthetic voice since he suffered a stroke? How about Gilly getting his hand stuck inside a live cow, and not the front end if you know what I mean? And how about an endless succession of people yelling "sister-boinker" or other rude monikers? I believe I laughed twice.

J.B. Rogers, obviously making his directorial debut, doesn't have a clue as to how to shoot a comedic scene. His timing is horrible, as the punchline either comes too early or, more frequently, far too late. The script, by Peter Gaulke and Gerry Swallow (also making their first film), doesn't help. All of this leaves Graham and Klein stranded in no-man's land. Graham does her best to channel Cameron Diaz's sweet persona, while Klein inexplicably chooses early Keanu Reeves as his influence. None of it matters, though. Say It Isn't So could've cast Jimmy Stewart and Kate Hepburn, and it wouldn't have helped. 

J. Robert Parks 3/20/2001

By comparison, The Heartbreakers is manna from heaven. A story of a mother-and-daughter con team, it stars Sigourney Weaver (Alien) and Jennifer Love Hewitt (tv's Party of Five) as Max and Page, two women who prey on rich, easily tempted men. Their m.o. is for Max to seduce a wealthy man and get him to marry her. Then, before the marriage can even be consummated, Page shows up in an alluring outfit, offers herself to the newly wed beau, and waits for Max to barge in at just the right moment. A hefty divorce settlement follows, and our two protagonists are off to score another mark.

The movie opens with Dean (Ray Liotta, Goodfellas) falling for Page's short skirts and sweet smile, and soon Max and Page are driving to Palm Springs in Dean's Mercedes, along with $300,000 of his money. But Page is getting antsy to strike out on her own, so the mother and daughter decide to make one last big score--William Tensy, a lecherous, old tobacco tycoon played by Gene Hackman.

If Weaver and Hewitt aren't quite up to the great con-man teams of past films (though they're both pretty good), Hackman makes up for it with one of the best comic turns of the last year. We first see him from afar as he walks out of his chateau and promptly has a coughing fit; even from a distance, Hackman's physical timing is hilarious. And it only gets better from there. Just the way he greedily smiles at Max or how he barges into her hotel room was enough to provoke howls of laughter from the audience I was with. Younger comics, Chris Klein among others, could stand to study Hackman's performance--instead of the gross or easy laugh, character and timing are far more satisfying.

Ray Liotta is also very strong, as his character turns up in the film's final act seeking either love or revenge. I haven't been a big fan of Liotta's in the past, but here he strikes the right notes of aggrieved husband and greedy thug. Sigourney Weaver is also enjoyable as she balances the roles of con-woman and mother. Even Jennifer Love Hewitt isn't bad, though she has the unenviable task of wearing ever-more revealing outfits; she even has to wear a little French maid's outfit, complete with push-up bra.

Despite the strong cast, the movie is far from perfect. In particular, there's a foolish sub-plot involving Page and a sweet bar-owner/astronomer (Jason Lee, Chasing Amy) that unfortunately comes to dominate the movie. Their relationship is awkward and completely unconvincing. That the film's last half-hour is obsessed with whether these two will stay together is both irritating and a waste of the other, stronger actors. 

Nonetheless, The Heartbreakers might be worth seeing just for Hackman's performance. It's star power in the service of something wonderful. 

J. Robert Parks 3/20/2001

Say It Isn't So is rated R for brief nudity, sexual situations, gross humor, and general offensiveness. The Heartbreakers is rated PG-13 for sexual situations and humor, language, and a whole bunch of skimpy outfits.