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In his provocative essay "The New Hollywood," Thomas Schatz wrote that there are four basic rules in Hollywood marketing. "The most basic of these rules is that only star vehicles with solid production values have any real chance at the box office. . . . The next rule concerns what is termed the 'reward risk' factor, and holds that reaping the potential benefits of a hit requires heavy up-front spending on marketing as well as production. A corollary to this is that risk can be minimized via pre-sold pictures, and today the most effective pre-selling involves previous movie hits or other familiar media products (TV series, pop song, comic books). An aesthetic corollary holds that films with minimal character complexity or development and by-the-numbers plotting (especially male-action pictures) are the most readily reformulated and thus the most likely to be parlayed into a full-blown franchise." [emphasis mine]

Though Schatz wrote those words ten years ago, they are still just as relevant today and no more so than in a discussion of summer movies. What do we have to look forward to this summer? Sequels, movies based on TV series, and male action pictures. Let's start first with the sequels.

Of course, we've already had the mother of all sequels--Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones. But that's just a warmup for what's to come. The next one also features our heroes and a whole bunch of computer-generated space aliens, but this time on planet Earth. Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith are back as Agents J & K (or is it T & A or maybe B & M--I can never keep it all straight) ready to fight the scum of the universe in Men in Black II (July 5). Two weeks later, the kids will be excited about the return of Stuart Little (July 19), the little mouse who saves the day. And then grownups, or at least teenagers, can groove with Mike Meyers, Michael Caine, and pop star Beyonce Knowles in the third (and hopefully final) Austin Powers installment, Austin Powers in Goldmember (July 26). The last sequel of the summer might be the one I'm most looking forward to--Spy Kids 2 (Aug. 7). The first was great fun, and I have high hopes even for the sequel.

Only five sequels this summer? Yes, but it's not because Hollywood is getting any more creative. There are also four movies based on tv shows, including Scooby Doo on June 14. It was just a matter of time before that animated classic showed up on the big screen, so we might as well get it over with. Sarah Michelle Gellar and fiance Freddy Prinze, Jr. star as Daphne and Fred, and Scooby is brought to life through the wonder of CGI special effects. Other animated kids series getting the Hollywood treatment are Hey Arnold! The Movie (June 28), Powerpuff Girls (July 5) and Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course (July 12). Oh wait, that last flick isn't animated, though I'll never believe Animal Planet guy Steve Irwin is
actually a real person.

Other stars pretending to be real people can be found in a host of male action flicks this season. Kicking off this coming weekend is the next Tom Clancy/Jack Ryan feature, Sum of All Fears (May 31). Now that Alec Baldwin and Harrison Ford have grown up, it's up to Ben Affleck to step into the CIA sleuth's shoes. Morgan Freeman plays a mature voice of reason . . . for the bazillionth time. Not to be outdone by his childhood pal, Matt Damon is an even more kick-butt spy hero in The Bourne Identity (June 14). Franka Potente gets to Run Lola Run some more as his help-mate. The same weekend features Nicolas Cage as a WWII soldier who has to protect a Navajo "codetalker" in director John Woo's Windtalkers (June 14). Leaping far into the future, though only a week on the release schedule, is Tom Cruise and Steven Spielberg in Philip K. Dick's Minority Report (June 21). Cruise is a futuristic law enforcement official who's set up to commit a murder in the future. Sci-fi time bending ensues, and of course a whole bunch of Tom Cruise close-ups. Out to prove that he's not too old to carry an action-adventure movie, Harrison Ford is a Soviet nuclear submarine captain caught in a moral dilemma, in K-19: The Widowmaker (July 19). Actually, maybe Steve Irwin as a crocodile hunter doesn't sound so far-fetched. The only male action hero who actually looks like a male action hero is Vin Diesel (last year's Fast and the Furious), and he's ready to step into the government spy role as Xander Cage in the movie XXX (Aug. 9). Fast cars, shootouts, and lots of tattoos await.

If none of the above gets you excited (and who could blame you?), how about a moronic comedy? Undercover Brother, with Eddie Griffin in a parody of Blaxsploitation films, opens May 31. Not to be outdone, Chris Rock is a unsuspecting man recruited as a CIA spy in Bad Company (July 7). I'm laughing already!! Making it three-for-three for "quality" African-American comedy is Juwanna Man (June 21), in which a "bad-boy basketball player gets kicked out of the pros, so he dresses like a woman to join the women's league." I am not making this up.

Of course, black comedians don't have a corner on stupidity. Here to prove the point is Adam Sandler as Mr. Deeds (June 28). Gary Cooper must be turning over in his grave. Dana Carvey, who like Adam Sandler also made his mark on Saturday Night Live, tries to get back in the limelight with Master of Disguises (Aug. 2). And David Arquette stars in the arachnid sci-fi comedy Eight Legged Freaks (July 19).

Admittedly, not all of the above movies are going to be terrible. I suspect I might like more than a few. The problem (and the reason for my cynical tone) is that the rules of marketing Schatz lays out are so entrenched in Hollywood that they overwhelm most intelligent, character-driven fare. When movies must be marketed by huge up-front commercial campaigns, that doesn't leave any room for the small, independent or foreign film. Those movies just can't compete.

Furthermore, the very idea of saturation advertising rests on being able to explain a movie "in twenty-five words or less," in Spielberg's famous phrase. Well, that means any movie whose plot can't be expressed in two simple sentences doesn't fit and, therefore, is rarely made. Or if it's lucky, and a big star or director gets behind it, the film's marketing is swamped by the ads for every other big blockbuster. Have you heard about Sunshine State, John Sayles's wonderful new ensemble drama set in contemporary Florida? Of course, you haven't, though it's coming out in three short weeks and is one of my favorites of the last few months. How about Road to Perdition? You might have seen something about that, since it does star Tom Hanks and Paul Newman and is directed by Sam Mendes (American Beauty). But the plot is a little complicated and doesn't lend itself well to 30-second ads, so who knows how it will do. And this doesn't even cover wonderful foreign films like Abbas Kiarostami's ABC Africa (June 14), Oscar-nominated The Fast Runner (June 21), or the fabulous Japanese movie All About Lily Chou-Chou (July 12)? Fortunately, we live in Chicago, so those movies will actually be released here and can be scouted down by the intrepid. Most of the country won't even have that privilege.

Again, it's not that I'm against the fun, stupid blockbuster. Heck, I gave a solid review to Star Wars II, in case you've forgotten. It's that I want to see more than just special effects, shootouts, and one-liners.
Unfortunately, there's not much else this summer.