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Black Christmas: A Johnny Cash Inspired Adaptation of T'was the Night Before Christmas
by psychologist Dr. Bruce L. Thiessen, aka, Dr. B.L.T.

T'was the night before Christmas
and all through the street
the people were searchin' for somethin' to eat
their stockings were torn and their bodies were worn
tired and sickly, unkempt and forlorn
a man called St. Nicholas was dealin' cocaine
it was all the street doctor could offer for pain
the anguish I saw on their faces that night
told a tale of incredible horror and frieght

t'was the night before New Year
and where was Dick Clark?
when the sirens followed a shot in the dark
the shooters were shot in return, and they fled
' heard their uncle's on crack
and their auntie's on reds
and Donner and Blitzen were just pimps that she fed
while she still was alive, now she's turned up for dead

on Bakersfield streets, like the ones Buck sang of
we could all use some joy, we could all use some love
and beyond this hick town out to Tollbooth's grand fans
let me say, "Spread good tidings all throughout this fine land."
though the joyful White Christmas that we all used to know
is just powder to some that they stuff in their nose
let's all draw from the Christ child, a message that grows
every time that it's written, and each time that it's told

Though Bing sang of White Christmas, Cash would always wear black
and on Christmas his sleigh was the place where he stashed
compassion for beggars, and hookers and thieves
he replaced hopelessness with a word called "believe"

so this night, before Christmas
let's remember his life
and apply his black Christmas
to the sorrow and strife
just for Johnny, let's visit
a prison or two
and sing carols to inmates
just like Johnny would do
reach out to the poor, and downtrodden this year
as you spread Cash's tidings of comfort and cheer

Merry Christmas!


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