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MTV's Pimp and Ho Show
A review of the 2003 MTV Video Music Awards
by psychologist Dr. Bruce L. Thiessen, aka Dr. B.L.T., the Shrink-rappin' Rock Doc

Last year my only complaint about the show was an admittedly vain one--I made a short cameo appearance in a video by Cake that lost to White Stripes for Groundbreaking Music Video of the Year. This year, my disappointment is based on what I believe to be more noble grounds--artistic and moral indignation. I eagerly watched the sorry ceremony to see if art would mysteriously emerge. Instead of an art exhibit, I got exhibitionism.  Instead of a video show, I got a pimp and ho show, compliments of folks like Madonna, the once youthful and vibrant, now dirty old lady getting her jollies by planting a seductive kiss on a young female starlet; 50 Cent, a cool master of rhythm but, compared to Eminem, a day late and dollar short on lyrical substance; Snoop Doggie Dog; and the usual bands of rap pimps glorifying a life of prostitution, crime, and slime. Then, there was Good Charlotte, the band that, on a good day, makes punk look like a Bad Harlot. This year I wanted White Stripes to win. I wanted the man in black to win. Both were nominated in multiple categories. They each won one, in low-profile categories. It was not a year for the man in black. It was not a year for the stripes in white. No, it was not a year for black and white, only dismal shades of abysmal gray. Next year, I will be a no-show for MTV's pimp and ho show.


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