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In my review of last year's K-19: The Widowmaker, I disparaged Harrison Ford's last decade of movies and made the point that he seemed to be sleepwalking through most of them. A friendly reader emailed me to defend his favorite actor by pointing out that all of those movies had done boffo box-office. How could I think of saying anything bad about Ford when his movies were profitable?  I of course ignored the fallacy that box-office
success is an indicator of cinematic quality, but I couldn't help but take a perverse pleasure this past weekend in realizing that Ford's latest egregious offering couldn't even beat out the Rugrats movie. How the mighty
have fallen.

The story of Hollywood Homicde, such as it is, focuses on police detective Joe Gavilan (Ford) and his young sidekick K.C. Calden (Josh Hartnett). The two are assigned to investigate a massacre at a Los Angeles rap club. The investigation focuses on rap impresario Sartain (Isaiah Washington). But meanwhile Gavilan is under investigation himself from nitpicky Internal Affairs agent and all-around nemesis Bennie Macko (Bruce Greenwood). Adding to the character list if not the movie's intrigue is radio psychic Ruby (Lena Olin) who's having an affair with Gavilan after breaking up with Macko. No bonus points for guessing that Gavilan gets to show up Macko after sleeping with his ex. Calden is sleeping with almost everyone in his yoga class, though he mystically never takes off his clothes. I mean, Hartnett even keeps his shirt on during a hot tub scene. His legion of young fans will certainly be disappointed to find that out. That Harrison Ford shows more skin than his co-star will be disappointing to absolutely everyone.

Hollywood Homicide is a ridiculous film made even more ridiculous by its astonishing lack of focus. It at times seems to want to be a comedy, a romance, an action thriller, and a police intrigue. Amazingly, it fails at
all of them. It's rarely funny, never romantic, hardly suspenseful, and too clumsy to be intriguing about anything. The only redeeming feature is a humorous subplot involving the pairing of Martin Landau and rap artist Master P. It's a high-concept film gone horribly wrong.

How stupid is Hollywood Homicide? It's so stupid that the opening scene takes place at the rap club where a performance is about to finish up. Our villains suddenly open fire, killing four people and sending others dashing into the street. Cut immediately to detective Gavilan. He's selling real estate on the side, and he's waiting for a potential buyer to show. Admittedly, he's been waiting a couple hours, but that means it's only
about 9 p.m. Now how many big-city rap performances are starting at 9 p.m., much less ending at that time? None, but Hollywood Homicide is so inept it doesn't even bother to notice. Is this a big deal? Not really, but it's
indicative of how sloppy the script by Ron Shelton and Robert Souza is.

The final chase scene, which seems to last several hours, is another horrible example. Sartain, who's been a model of coolness from the movie's outset, suddenly panics at the mere sight of Gavilan. Now, I too find
myself cringing whenever I see Harrison Ford, but I'm not the reincarnation of Suge Knight. A chase, or should I say a commercial for the Escalade SUV, ensues. But this chase scene is so badly directed that we need commentary from a helicopter news anchor to narrate it all. And even she can't explain how Gavilan and Calden lose their target on three separate occasions, only to magically bump into him three more times. The chase is so mindless I started wondering if director Ron Shelton was trying to satirize the genre. I mean, Harrison Ford actually steals a little girl's bike in the middle and then toots the horn. But, no, the movie's too clumsy to pull that off. Instead, it ends with a fist fight on top of a building and a brutal ending that's genuinely degrading to human life.

Along the way, the movie trots out so many cliches I lost count. It even invokes the moment when the villain is about to shoot our hero but decides to engage in a conversation instead. Lo and behold, our hero not only uses that pause to trick the villain but gets his confession on tape. But worst of all is the moment I realized that Calden's father was a good cop gunned down by a rogue cop (cue maudlin photo of father lying on Calden's night stand). Definitely no bonus points for guessing that Calden and his father's killer will have to duke it out at the movie's end. The biggest loser of that fight is the movie. 

J. Robert Parks 6/21/2003

In the time honored tradition of summer buddy cop films, writer-director Ron Shelton has taking a loving stab at the genre and created an interesting and, at times, amusing film called Hollywood Homicide. The film stars Harrison Ford as Homicide Detective Joe Gavilan, who is up to his eyelids in debt, as his dabbling in real estate and three alimony payments have left him in dire financial straits.

While trying to unload a property in which he has invested all his money, Joe receives a call that four people have been killed in a music club after performing. Arriving on the scene with his partner of four months, K.C. Calden (Josh Hartnett), the two quickly learn that there was a witness to the killings and set out to investigate the crime and locate the witness who may be able to shed light on the killings. At this point the film quickly shifts gears from that of a gritty cop film to a comedy that parodies many films in the genre.

It seems that Calden is also unhappy being a police officer as he dreams of becoming an actor. Calden is prepping for an acting showcase on Friday night and frets over learning his lines, and if any agents will be showing up, he is so concerned that he even gets Joe to run lines with him as they drive to locations during their investigation. Joe, on the other hand, is facing the wrath of a sadistic Internal Affairs officer named Bennie Macko (Bruce Greenwood) who is determined to get back at Joe for making him look bad during a case he bungled years ago.

The interesting aspect of this film is that while we do see the two officers conducting an investigation, the majority of the film is taken up by side issues such as Joe's constant efforts to land and close two giant real estate deals, the Internal Affairs investigation, and Calden's spiritualism, bedding of women whose names he can't remember and pursuit of his acting career. There are some subplots such as Calden being haunted by the death of his father whose case files have been sealed, and Joe being involved with a radio psychic (Lena Olin), and of course his constant financial struggles.

This film is a difficult one to review as it lacks any real tension or deep plot, and the characters appear to amble through the investigation rather than tackle it head on as most film and television cops do. More screen time is devoted to their off-the-case exploits, yet those often have some very funny moments. There is an interrogation scene that is hysterical and a very interesting car chase that has some nice variations on what has become a time worn segment. The sight of Ford in hot pursuit on a children's bicycle festooned with balloons is a blast, as are other moments in the film.

That being said, the film is enjoyable to watch and at times funny, much to the great work by Ford, who makes what could be a bad film enjoyable simply by his presence. Hartnett does well with a role that is little more than that of a comedic sidekick. As a cop film, Hollywood Homicide is not very good, but as comedy and parody of that genre, it is an unevenly paced film that at times works. Despite the flaws, the overall experience is a good summer afternoon movie.

Gareth Von Kallenbach June 22, 2003