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In preparation for writing this year's summer film preview, I decided to dig out what I wrote for last summer. Lo, to my shock and surprise, I realized that pretty much everything I wrote last June applies to this year's model. Change a few words, update a few titles, and, voila, instant preview. If Hollywood is just rehashing its summer blockbusters every year, then it seems only appropriate that I do the same. But since you're much more likely to remember the first Charlie's Angels than my 2002 preview (oh, the indignity!), I will quote the appropriate passages from last year's best-seller in italics.

BEGIN ITALICS] In his provocative essay "The New Hollywood," Thomas Schatz wrote that there are four basic rules in Hollywood marketing. "The most basic of these rules is that only star vehicles with solid production values have any real chance at the box office. . . . The next rule concerns what is termed the 'reward risk' factor, and holds that reaping the potential benefits of a hit requires heavy up-front spending on marketing as well as production. A corollary to this is that risk can be minimized via pre-sold pictures, and today the most effective pre-selling involves previous movie hits or other familiar media products (TV series, pop song, comic books). An aesthetic corollary holds that films with minimal character complexity or development and by-the-numbers plotting (especially male-action pictures) are the most readily reformulated and thus the most likely to be parlayed into a full-blown franchise." [emphasis mine]

Though Schatz wrote those words ten years ago, they are still just as relevant today and no more so than in a discussion of summer movies. What do we have to look forward to this summer? Sequels, movies based on TV series, and male action pictures. Let's start first with the sequels. 

A brilliant introduction if I do say so myself. Why bother trying to improve it when I can just repeat it? So on to the sequels!

Of course, we've already had the mother of all sequels--Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones. But that's just a warmup for what's to come.Actually, in 2003 we've already had the mother and the great-aunt of all sequels in Matrix Reloaded and X2. But that's not stopping Hollywood. There are another 11!! sequels scheduled this season, and that doesn't even include Dumb and Dumberer (June 13), which is technically a prequel of the Jim Carrey/Jeff Daniels laugher of several years ago. 11 sequels. Can you imagine what this means? This means that almost every weekend this summer, the main movie event is a rehash of something we have recently seen. And the only reason it's not happening *every* weekend is that there are actually weekends which have two sequels. Sadly, I am not making this up.

Following the more conventional sequel route is 2 Fast 2 Furious (June 6), though Vin Diesl wisely bailed on the repeat. The same cannot be said of director John Singleton who actually signed on for the chance to direct white-bread actor Paul Walker. A couple weeks later sees the return of the three women who've inspired brainless girls the world over--the redhead Drew Barrymore, the brunette Lucy Liu, and the blonde Cameron Diaz--in Charlie's Angels 2 (June 27). The XX gender will have to settle for blonde in Reese Witherspoon's return as Elle Woods in Legally Blonde 2: Red, White and Blonde (July 2).

You men out there, you're not off the hook either. The same patriotic July 4th weekend brings Ahhhnold in Terminator 3. Back to wreak havoc on the civilized world, back to entertain the mindless with simulated explosions, death, and mayhem, back to utter his famous catch phrase. I'm not exactly sure who the target audience is for Bad Boys II (July 18), though I assure you it's not me. Ditto that on Lara Croft 2 (July 25), American Pie 3 (August 1), and Jeepers Creepers 2 (Aug. 29).

If you haven't gotten enough of either Rugrats or Wild Thornberries (and who can honestly say they have?), the two Nickelodeon series are hooking up for double the laughs, double the fun in Rugrats Go Wild (June 13). And the double trouble isn't through yet, as two horror giants merge in the long-awaited Freddy vs. Jason (Aug. 15). Now, if it was Freddy vs. Rugrats, I might have sprung for popcorn on that one. The last sequel of the summer might be the one I'm most looking forward to--Spy Kids 2. Woah, that's scary. Change the '2' to a '3', and I'd say the same thing this summer.

Only five sequels this summer? Yes, but it's not because Hollywood is getting any more creative. There are also four movies based on tv shows. Well, the five is wrong (how sad that five sequels would be considered a happy number this year), but there are still four shows based on the boob tube. Besides the aforementioned Rugrats and Charlie's Angels, we've got the American Idol spin-off From Justin to Kelly (June 13). I heartily encourage you to see this several times, as I've heard that Simon Fuller is hurting for money. Ready to put a hurt on audiences is The Hulk (June 20). Yes, I know it was originally a comic book (still is?), but my generation remembers it chiefly as a tv show. And as a reminder that our civilization still has even further to descend, this year we get our first movie based on a television commercial when Rowan Atkinson stars as Johnny English (July 18). If nothing else, this should be a healthy corrective to us snobby types that the Europeans (who have flocked to this dismal comedy) can be even stupider than we can.

Other stars pretending to be real people can be found in a host of male action flicks this season. Well, no changes here. How else to explain Harrison Ford as a LAPD detective investigating the slaying of a rap star in Hollywood Homicide (June 13). Sean Connery shows up as a smooth-talking, fist-punching superhero in the comic-book inspired (does anyone notice a trend?) League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (July 11). Mark Wahlberg and Ed Norton are competing con men in The Italian Job (opened last Friday). Nic Cage is an introspective police detective in Matchstick Men (Aug. 8). And Samuel L. Jackson stars as yet another bad-ass in a remake of S.W.A.T. (Aug. 8).

How about some good kids fare? Well, if you haven't seen Finding Nemo yet, there's your movie. I doubt I'll see a better one this summer. Continuing the water theme, Disney and Dreamworks are bringing not one but two pirate movies to theaters, and within one week of each other. Who are the ad wizards who came up with this?! The animated Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas sails on July 2, while the live-action Pirates of the Caribbean hoists anchor on July 11. If you see a bunch of nine-year-olds sporting eye patches this summer, you'll know why. And continuing the remake theme, Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsay Lohan are switching bodies in Freaky Friday (Aug. 8).

Romantic comedies seem to be making a summer comeback this year. Kate Hudson has a couple with Alex and Emma (June 20) and Le Divorce (Aug. 8), while Mandy Moore, Jennifer Lopez, Brittany Murphy, and Tara Reid will have to settle for one each: How to Deal (July 18), Gigli (Aug. 1), Uptown Girls (Aug. 15), and My Boss's Daughter (Aug. 22), respectively.

Admittedly, not all of the above movies are going to be terrible. I suspect I might like more than a few. The problem (and the reason for my cynical tone) is that the rules of marketing Schatz lays out
are so entrenched in Hollywood that they overwhelm most intelligent, character-driven fare. When movies must be marketed by huge up-front commercial campaigns, that doesn't leave any room for the small, independent or foreign film. Those movies just can't compete. Still true, unfortunately. But let me do my small part to alert you to some outstanding movies for which you won't see commercials. Ken Loach's Sweet Sixteen opens at the Music Box in Chicago on June 13, while Aki Kaurismaki's Man Without a Past finally makes it to Chicago on June 27. The word is good on The Magdalene Sisters, directed by Peter Mullan; Swimming Pool, starring Charlotte Rampling; and the documentary Capturing the Friedmans. These are set to show later in the summer (exact dates uncertain).

Again, it's not that I'm against the fun, stupid blockbuster. Heck, I gave a solid review to Star Wars II, in case you've forgotten. It's that I want to see more than just special effects, shootouts, and one-liners. Unfortunately, there's not much else this summer. Replace Star Wars II with Matrix Reloaded, but otherwise this summer is just a repeat.

J. Robert Parks 6/7/2003