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Why is that THE STATLER BROTHERS' gospel material on Columbia Records is easy enough to find on used LP, but spotting their general market longplayers on the same label-from the onset of their career that yielded the genius of "Flowers on the Wall" and "You Can't Have Your Kate and Edith, Too"--inspired silliness has proven nigh impossible? Staying on the subject of those Methodist gentlemen who got their group name from a facial tissue box, if there hasn't yet been a CD collection of their comedy work as LESTER "ROAD HOG" MORAN & THE CADILLAC COWBOYS (at least one and one-half's album's worth of material), there well ought to be by now, yes? 

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Since Curb Records has been so good about marketing PLUMB and NICOL SPONBERG to the club music community by hooking them up with killer dance remixes, how long before labelmate NATILE GRANT gets approved for the same treatment? "Held" had potential galore to have been transformed into a poignant floor-filler, so my guess is that she still has it in her to do it again.  

Don't tell me I missed it, did I?

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When one of your favorite recording acts releases a super-duper deluxe edition of their latest longplayer (or, on rarer occasions, a back catalog album), do you prefer to purchase it at the same time the standard issue CD is released or months later, when you already bought the album in the first place and perhaps have all its songs memorized? 

From the way I phrased the question, guess which I prefer.

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Might a good way for Christian hip-hop to get more listeners among general market rap fans be for godly M.C.'s to concoct dances to go with their tunes in the same way vulgar teenager SOULJA BOY and others have done to have hits? 

Upon typing that last sentence, it occurred to me that MR. DEL has already done that. Kind of, anyway. Never mind...

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Where are the great Christian monologists or  raconteurs? Isn't there anyone among the saints who'd be worth seeing just to hear them talk, as so many have plunked their dollars down to keep a seat warm while HENRY ROLLINS, SPAULDING GREY or even JOHN  WATERS engagingly flap their gums about whatever they've experienced in their lives? (yes, I know Grey's no longer among the living). 

Preaching should be a more important oratorical faculty in the Kingdom, but, like written fiction, stories of lives lived (hopefully) faithfully can impart salvific, spiritual truth, too. Or so I'd like to think.  

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Isn't that T BONE BURNETT playing guitar in the video for ROBERT PLANT & ALISON KRAUS singing "Gone Gone Gone (Done Moved On)"? Much as I hate to say it about a man who's been a hero to me for the quality of his music and integration of his Christianity into same, doesn't he look just a wee dorky up there? Blame the natural charisma of the singers with whom he's sharing the stage...and his haircut. 

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Doesn't BRITT NICOLE bear uncanny resemblance to ANGELLE TYMON, one of the former hostesses of GSN's last great original game show, Playmania? Nicole may be a better singer, though.

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How surprising is it to hear CHUCK BERRY singing a gospel song of his own composition, "Down Bound Train," on Johnny B. Goode:His Complete '50s Chess Recordings (Hip-O Select)? It's one of those "You're screwed without the Lord, and hell is scary!" numbers at which THE LOUVIN BROTHERS and THE STAPLE SINGERS (if sometimes only via their trembly guitar, though it's nothing like Berry's style) excelled so, as does Berry on this piece that perhaps belies the influence of his pastor dad. 

And with a title like that, do you think JOSH TURNER might have heard it before writing his own song about a locomotive headed for the lake of fire?

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In a battle of purposefully crude, unashamedly evangelistic rock bands given to wearing masks, who do you think would win the battle that can't happen until the second one I mention reunites:THE KNIGHTS OF THE NEW CRUSADE or LUST CONTROL? 

Too close to a draw for me to want to commit, I say (don't mind that I write for a magazine published by a member of the second group, OK?).

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If anyone reading this has counted the number of musical acts and preachers T BONE mentions in his nigh annoyingly clever "Name Droppin'," could you write a guy and let him (i.e., me) know? 

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Is it me, or is the self-against-self concept framing KIRK FRANKLIN's current album like a Romans 7-informed version of the same kind of thing T.I. did on his latest set? Franklin scores for scripturality, but that crude Atlanta rapper may have the upper hand in hooks. 

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In the realm of biblical toys, isn't it time to give Noah and his ark full of kin and critters a rest and try marketing a plaything of King Eglon getting stabbed in his obese gut on his commode? Kids love poop and violence, so why not? 

Or how about a build-it-yourself skeleton and accompanying Ezekiel action figure? Children might as well learn bone structure while they depict a prophetic vision, right?

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Might the adjective family-friendly not only short-sell but also limit the textual scope of any Christian media outlet using it? Am not sure myself, but, even with the deluge of definitely family-unfriendly media worth being countered, suitability for Mom, Pop and all the kids doesn't seem to go far enough in describing effective media that deals in the whole counsel of God. 

Remember that a Jewish man in ancient times couldn't read the Song of Solomon aloud on the feast days where it was recited until he reached 30. Does that sound fam'-friendly to you?  
 
Jamie Lee Rake