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Rake Thoughts

What peculiar synergy is at work when one can hear JORDIN SPARKS' "One Step at a Time" on general and Christian market pop stations, Radio Disney and, to a lesser extent, R & B outlets?  
Isn't it a shame that there are no LARRY NORMAN instrumental accompaniment tracks for people who want to commemorate his passing and celebrate his artistry with church'aoke for their congregations, as I'd wanted a couple of people where I attend sing?
Apart from the cognitive and spiritual dissonance RAY BOLTZ and CLAY AIKEN should be feeling by declaring themselves both homosexual and Christian, might they now record an album of duets? Maybe Gospel Music Channel Gospel Dream contestant TONY SWEET could join them for the occasional trio? 

And, even if the Gospel Music Association is going to keep mum about such matters (would the trade organization be so reticent were any of the aforementioned to come out or be found out as white supremacists?), will Christian retail continue to support Boltz's music, much less his former labels keep it in print?    
On a subject related to the above, should online publications such as this one give any press to YO! MAJESTY, the so-called lesbian Christian rap duo whose latest album opens with a song title beginning with the f-word but have been getting a good deal of general market coverage lately? Really, someone let me know;I'm curious to hear them, but I'm diffident about supporting them outside of a professional context. 
What's the hold up with the recording debut of former JUMP5 siblings Brandon and Brittany Hargest's new piano pop act, GUEST?
Furthermore, will former J5 member NATASHA NOACK and her band, THE GOODBYES, ever reach anywhere near the success of the act of which she was a member for so short a while that she never recorded with them (that I'm aware)? Or, after one EP released a couple years ago, is her group prophetically named? 
Do you think there's any rivalry between former COMMISSIONED members FRED HAMMOND and MARVIN SAPP? Hammond may have at least one platinum album certification in his history, but Sapp recently came off having Radio & Records' #1 song at soul gospel radio for about 10 weeks shy of a year;hitting the same position on that trade magazine's adult r&b chart probably made for a substantial royalty check or two as well . And are the group's other five original members wondering how they can get in on that kind of career boost? I don't think I'd blame them if the thought crossed their minds.
Is it because their music's selling like crazy or a case of Disney-hating that has thus far kept THE JONAS BOTHERS from being played on 
Little Steven's Underground Garage? Much of the Jo' Bros' latest longplayer should be musically right up Mr. Van Zant's proverbial alley.
After asking the owner of one of my favorite indie record shops about prices on the new DANIELSON FAMILIE LP reissues, how surprised should I have been to find out that he hadn't a clue as to who SOUL-JUNK are, much less the band from which they sprung (and favorites of late, influential BBC Radio 1 DJ John Peel), TRUMAN'S WATER?      
Have any of you heard and enjoyed (however perversely) that cheesetastic slice of gospel ska, "Jesus Is My Friend" by SONSEED that has made the viral video rounds lately, and you want to hear more of them? The band's apparently lone longplayer is long out of print but going to fan site will get you information on how to get the whole blessed (?) thing on CD and download. If anyone has any information on what's become of them, you'd be a dear to let me know. 
I know it's been over a decade since their final album hit what probably few shops carried it, making my following plea less likekly to be heeded by anyone who could do anything about it, but could someone please legitimately issue BREAKFAST WITH AMY's heretofore unreleased documentary The Sound Of One Hand Snacking? Rarely has Christocentric rock'n'roll sounded so dangerous as when BWA were at their prime. Or, if someone could send me an illegitimate DVD, please first email me at the addy at the end of this column, OK?
Is it not so troubling to you, as it is to me, that MILEY CYRUS chose a KATY PERRY song for the titular track to her latest album as it is that the two posed making smoochy faces, in reference to the latter's recent hit about bisexual curiosity, at EmPTyV's last music video awards show? Doing it all for Jesus, are you Miley? Uh, OK, but just don't give me too many more reasons to pray for you, alrighty? And yes, I care about Perry in the same way (but I don't like her music as much). 
Do the lack of email updates from The Wittenburg Door spell the end of both the print version of the venerable Christian satire magazine magazine and its website? I'd call the editor I know there now if it weren't quite so late. But if any of you can tell me any sooner, like I said about my email address...
How pathetic of me and/or the business of CCM that I was able to mention two American Idol contestants in the rest of this column? And how pathetic is/was it for any AI-inspired singing competition for the purpose of nurturing cCm/gospel talent to be entitled-as I've seen with my own eyes-Christian Idol? It's difficult to determine whether the utter lack of imagination or intellectually negligent, if hopefully unintentional, heresy of that title is worse.

Happy listening until next time!
-Jamie Lee Rake     


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